More on Commitment...

This whole blog thing has given me quite an insight into human behavior (mainly mine).

The thing about commitment is that you cannot be committed half way. Just like you cannot be half-pregnant. What I found yesterday is that, the only time that I find myself committed half way is the time that I find myself in fear. Fear of not getting what I want. Fear of not prevailing. Fear of success. And so many more forms of fear. When things don't look like they are going in the right direction, sometimes, I start looking at plan B.... but I have found that looking at plan B, starts making plan B the priority... because all my focus starts going in that direction. The funny thing is that when that started happening yesterday, I meditated more on plan A, the project itself. Literally, 10 minutes later my phone rang... someone wanted to talk to me about other sources of funding for my project... and a few hours later got a message from a good friend who has been shopping the project... she had good news, very good news (I'm not going to tell you what happened, until we have a signed contract.)

Last night, I got another call from my friend Joe in North Carolina. He called me about some issues regarding commitment and the ego. The ego is a funny thing. The ego is the part of me that really hates me. The thing with the ego is that it doesn't come out and say: "I hate you and want to sabotage your life," otherwise I wouldn't listen to it. It comes out and says: "I'm going to protect you from those who want to harm you... or I want to make sure that you get what you deserve" and with that disguise, I killed relationships, business opportunities, friendships, etc... This is the same ego that wants me to go to plan B... because of the fear of losing face, if I were not to succeed. But like I told my friend last night :"I'm all in"... for those of you not familiar with this poker term. It means that I'm going at this with ALL my passion, determination and devotion.... and if I fail, I fail... but will have NO regrets. I will not regret not having gone at it with ALL my heart. Because this project resonates with me so profoundly that I'm getting deeply moved as I write this.... That from the moment that this whole project was put together, there has been a force greater than myself, pushing it... every time I think that there is no alternative, something else keeps it alive. Out of no way, a way is being created.

And it all starts with commitment and deep conviction.